Thursday, August 25, 2011

Fall Fashion Preview!

It's fall y'all.

Well, almost. And that means fashion shows galore. I've done a little sifting and found some of the biggest trends of this upcoming season.

Now, don't be scared! The first time I saw 5" heels I thought, "Mhmf, these will never catch on!" Don't even get me started on skinny jeans. Who wouldn't want the exact size of her calves broadcast to the world? Everyone, I thought (how d'you like that double negative!). Boy was I wrong!

So remember... if one trend doesn't please you, try another. Fashion is all about mixing it up, pushing the boundaries. And for goodness sake, dressing like you live in the real world.

Here we go...

If you let another cool weather season go by without a pair of leather leiderhosen, you should be banished to a cave. "But I don't have anything to wear them with!" you say. Excuse me? It's so obvious that, for weather with snow just on the horizon, you should pair you shorts with a cropped sweater. Summer may be over but that doesn't mean your midrif shouldn't still be exposed!

Everyone knows this season is all about mid- and floor-length skirts and dresses (no, really!). What you didn't know is that they look best paired with a balaclava. Also helpful for those nights when you're dying to dress femininely but really, really need to keep your head warm.

Bare arms - out. Completely covered arms - oh so in.

Lest you worry that your fave summer jumpsuit or romper is no longer wearable, I happily announce, there are fall jumpers, too! Because getting totally undressed on a trip to the loo in warm weather just isn't rockstar enough for you. Now you can do it in subzero!

Winter white skinny suit, check. Fur-trim collar/bra, check. Furry hands, check. Peep-toe platforms, check. You stand at the precipice of avant garde and you jump right in. Brava.

Harem pants couldn't be more in vogue. I mean, when are they not?

Might seem a little early for halloween, but this is not a costume. This is "nightmare before christmas" chic at its finest.

In case you thought the fall jumpsuit was a fluke. Naysayer. You will kick yourself for not jumping on this bandwagon.

This is what a sad clown wears... when she's on the runway.

This brought to you by a little known designer house called "richie rich." He's all about the irony; when you've got money to burn, it's best to try and look "poory poor."

Newest trend: head to toe covering, with hip exposure. Don't forget your furry slippers!

And men, you have not been forgotten! All your fall staples are here in the menswear lines: skinny-cut suits, short pants, platform wedges and allover asian floral-print silk smoking jackets with hoods. What's that you say? You're thinking, just maybe, of not looking like a little boy this upcoming school year fashion season?

No, you're wrong. You do want to look like a little boy. Forever. Now go put on your dandy hat and have a seat.

Happy fall y'all!


  1. Oh my gosh....what hideous silliness! That sad clown looks more like a sad street walker to me.

    It will be interesting to see what filters down from this into mainstream fashion. I can honestly say I will never be caught in a pair of harem pants...those days are over forever no matter how fashionable they become.
    Great post.

  2. You are too funny. I don't know what expression is funnier - "sad clown" or "Poory, poor"
    Did you get the September issue (didn't I say "edition" in my email the other day??? I rolled over in the middle of the night laughing at my blunder) - I can't wait to read your review...
    Dare I say, It's not really that bad this year???

    Wish I could afford Banana Republic, the Mad Men collection looks fab.

  3. This was hilarious, really loving Poorie poorie!

  4. Lol at everything, especially the sad clown :)So spot on!


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